Life Lessons

I think it is high time that I tell you how I thought of my idea for the ‘unobserved beauty’ theme for this blog. I would love to just say that I am an amazing person who always saw the good or beautiful before the bad but that is not the case. My path to noticing beauty started when I was riding in a car on my way to church camp. My group was driving through a beat up section of a town. By beat up, I mean, all of the buildings were run down; there was trash on the street; weeds sprouting up everywhere; and, in my mind, it was, well dirty and ugly. That is, until I saw this bright fire engine red door. The door was at the back of someone’s house just barely visible from the road. At first, it seemed to me like such an odd place for such a beautiful door. But after seeing the door, the part of town I was in suddenly seemed to absorb the brightness of the door and become brighter and prettier to me as well. It got me thinking about how many wonderful things go unseen in the world, just because they are in odd places, where no one would think to look. As I continued the car ride, I found myself looking for more of these unexpected items. Once I started looking, I could not stop finding them.

It amazed me how many objects in the world I would consider beautiful when I took the time to look. Most of the items that I found were nothing special, like a fire hydrant or the waves on a sand dune. These are small things that most pass by every day, but when noticed, held true splendor. I have a theory about why this is. It is because they are much more than being beautiful to look at, they often invoke some special feeling or memory which inspires us. Going back to that lovely door, I now realize why I loved that door so much. That door seemed like a beacon of hope. There we were, in a broken, dull area of town, and, out of nowhere, was this vivid door. To me it seemed to say “even in a bad place, magnificence can dwell”. The door was beautiful because it inspired a deeper meaning in me and that was its true beauty.

That is the most valuable lesson that I have learned in my life so far, to look for the beauty in the world. Sure, sometimes, it is easier to see the bad and the ugly but that’s not how I want to see the world. I want to be the type of person who can find beauty in anything, whether it’s a trip to the grocery store, or even a creepy cemetery. True beauty is out there and it is just waiting for someone to find it. I want to be one of the people who go out and find it. As I put my lesson to use, I realized that the more I looked, the easier splendor was to find. In fact, the more beauty I find the less ugly I perceive everything. I hope I remember this lesson and use it for the rest of my life. I encourage all to join me in my search for the unexpected and unobserved beauty in life.
(The picture at the beginning is not the door I was talking about though it is close I did not take this picture)

Life Story

I have recently found the powerful truth behind the saying ‘never judge a book by its cover’. This is especially true when people are concerned. I made the assumption that I knew someone; that is, until they told me about their life story. The story of our lives is something that can’t be guessed at and is something hard for others to understand. But when our stories are shared, they can lead to true beauty of those listening.

The story I had the honor of hearing came from Teresa Martin, who works at the Roxy Movie Theater, where I also work. Teresa isn’t just another worker; she practically holds the theater together. She knows how to do everything there, and knows most of the people who walk through the door. In fact, I think that is Teresa’s undiscovered super power is her memory. She can remember everyone who walked in the door that night in the theater. Teresa can even recall what you told her a month ago. I am constantly amazed by all that she remembers. Although when Teresa told me her story, it was I who would always remember this conversation.

When I met Teresa thought I knew her story, boy was I wrong. I knew some about her past, but not much. I knew she had two sons, who are now adults. She worked at a couple of gas stations and as a waitress before working at Walt’s hardware store and the Theater. The rest of her story I assumed I knew. The way I saw her story was; that she grew up in Holbrook, got pregnant young, and worked at whatever jobs she could to support her family. Now this was partly right. She did take whatever job she could to support her family, but the rest was totally wrong, and I am angry with myself for even thinking this. Teresa grew up in Tucson. That is also where she was trained in health care. She got married to her late husband William. They had two sons, James and Adam. Teresa stayed in Tucson in an apartment with her family. That is, until one day when one of her sons went over to hang out with some friends who lived a couple of apartments away. One of the boys in the apartment got made at another boy for touching his girlfriend, or something, and shot and killed him. Teresa and her husband decided right then that they wanted to leave the city and raise their boys somewhere else. Teresa had been to Holbrook before and was told that, if, she came to Holbrook there would be a job for her at the senior center. Teresa moved here expecting that job, however, when she came here she was told that the job had already been given away. So, Teresa worked where ever she could to help support her family.

After she finished her story I was dead silent. I couldn’t even begin to express my shock at such a tale. I would have never known the hardships Teresa had faced if she didn’t tell me. Teresa is always smiling and kind, the exact opposite of what I would expect someone to be like who had such a rough life. I will forever remember her, not for the hardships of her life, but for the positivity that she displayed in her life. I would have missed all this if Teresa was not willing to share her beautiful life story.

Small Town, USA

This week I am enchanted by the beauty of a small town. I love Holbrook and am grateful that this is the place I grew up. To me Holbrook is a great size it’s big enough that not everyone is living on top of one another but small enough that you can usually find a familiar face in Safeway. However, I know that not everyone shares my opinion on life in a small town. The main reason I hear for not liking Holbrook is; “there is nothing to do”. I don’t see this as a problem. As far as there being nothing to do, well it is true that there are not many typical” teen hang out” places in town. However, I think that the lack of hang out spots make us, as teens, more creative. I do not spend time at a mall like most teens; instead I am outside climbing mesas, playing tag in Safeway, or whatever else I can think of. The lack of typical hang out places has forced me to be more creative; and in the end I believe I have more fun.

The next common complaint I hear is “people are too nosey”. Yes, that may be true but I am sure that you will find nosey people anywhere. However, it is magnified by the frequency in how often we run into those people. In a town like Holbrook, it is hard to run an errand without running into someone you know. This is the compliant that I, personally, struggle with. I constantly have people trying to “help” me with my life and telling me what I should do with it. When I get fed up with it, I try and remind myself that people only do this because they care for me. The real reason that most people are nosey is because they truly want the best for you and are trying to keep you from harm. So, I guess, being in close contact with nosey people is really a positive. It shows that you are surrounded by people who care. As annoying as it can be; it is part of what makes Holbrook beautiful.

The beauty of Holbrook came to me last week, when I was changing the Marquee at the movie theater. As I climbed out of the window to get to the marquee I was thinking about how few people can say they have changed a marquee at a one screen, privately owned theater. Now- a-days that is really uncommon. Movie theaters are part of some chain franchise that is run by a manger; not the actual owner. But that is not the case here, in Holbrook. As an employee, I love interacting with the actual owners. I love that they know all their employees. It makes me realize that they care about the theater and its employees. Also, I like how small the theater is. I know the customers better and it is neat to have customers who came before the theater was re-opened 10 years ago. The inside has been remodeled, but they can still remember what it looked like before, and the integrity of the place is still there. This allows them to go back in time for a few hours.

If Holbrook was a big city, places like the theater probably wouldn’t be around or at least wouldn’t be the same. Very few places would be privately owned. Most businesses would be franchised and look and feel the same as in any other town. If Holbrook was a big city it would lose all the character and originality that comes with a small town. In other words, Holbrook wouldn’t be as beautiful.

Produce Aisle

Have you ever gone to the store and looked at the vegetable section and think, “Gosh this is beautiful”? Well, that is exactly what I saw this week, beauty in the produce aisle! What made it first catch my eye was the simplicity of picking out vegetables. You simply grab one look at it. If you think it’s good, you take it, if not, put it back and move on. I have determined that the reason I suddenly see the beauty in simplicity is that I have recently been in the state of mind where it seems that everything is changing. Changes are coming, not just in school, but in the world. I see elementary school kids with cellphones instead of Barbie’s. Classes are now being taught without a teacher in the room. I am not saying that change is a bad thing, but sometimes I just want a constant; something tangible that is not always changing. That is where the produce aisle came in! I was in a massive tailspin about how much things were changing when I went grocery shopping this week, but luckily the beauty of the produce aisle actually calmed me. It may seem funny that, to me, the produce aisle beautiful, but it is. I love that, for as long as human beings have bought vegetables, this is the way they have done it. They pick it up; accept or reject it; and move to the next one. Sure, the building and vegetables themselves have changed but the principle of looking and picking out which specific vegetable you want has stayed the same. I like the thought that, even with all the new technology and accessibility, the way we pick vegetables has stayed the same. It is comforting for me to know that not everything needs to be changed or have a 2.0 version. Some things are perfect just the way they are!

That is my big over thought this week; not everything needs to be complicated. Sometimes the most beautiful things in life are the simplest. Often times, I feel that the simple things are the hardest to find. If others are like me, I often tend to look for beauty in something flashy and complicated. Because of this belief, I find that I often miss out on the beauty in the simple things in life. As I focused on the simple things, I saw the beauty in just watching the sunrise, laughing with a friend or picking out vegetables in the grocery aisle.

Maybe that is why it seems that everything is changing to the point it is overwhelming. I am so overwhelmed by change because I don’t take the time to notice the items that never change. I get so caught up in finding the next new thing and the latest items that I lose track of the constants. This week, I discovered the key to not letting change overwhelm me is to look at the consistency and simplicity that the world has to offer and to fully appreciate it. All it took to remind me of this was a quick trip to the grocery store; I guess the world gave me the answer I was looking for: in a simply beautiful way.

Personalities

I was looking through old photos this weekend searching for pictures to put in the senior slide show. Most the pictures I found were of me and my two siblings. I laughed at how much these old photos represent our personalities now. In most of the pictures my older sister, Alix, is camera ready, with a big smile on her face. Jacob, my older brother, on the other hand, is usually making some goofy face that makes me laugh even now. Then, there is me, I am usually staring straight into the camera; sometimes smiling and sometimes just looking. I find these photos to be very representative of my siblings and me. Alix is usually the put together one, or at least the one with the plan. Jacob is the fun spirited one, ready to make everyone laugh. Me, I am the one that tries to logic everything out.

As I have grown up, I recognize that my siblings are on opposite spectrums of the personality wheel. Alix takes time to look presentable; Jacob will wear the same shirt (complete with ten holes) until someone throws it out. When in a crowd of company, Alix will sit and talk to the adults; Jacob will be running around with the children. Alix is one I go to talk about deep things; but Jacob is the one I go to when I need someone to lift my spirit and make me laugh. I am generally in the middle of the spectrum I try to look decent (but with as little effort as possible). I will talk with the adults and play with the children.

I was thinking about it, and I doubt, if I meet two people with my siblings’ personalities, I would be their friend or even acquaintance. Yet, I would not change my siblings, and our personalities seem to just work. I mean, we have had our rough patches, but overall we get along amazingly well. I guess differences in personalities are easy to get over when you love someone. I can’t ever remember wishing that Jacob and Alix had different personalities; because that would mean having different siblings. That is something I will never wish for. I love Alix and Jacob and I always will, no matter how much our personalities may clash.

As I was thinking about how my siblings and I get along even though sometimes we are nothing alike, I realized how foolish I am with other people around me. There is this kid in one of my classes (he is not in AP English) that just irks me. He is very loud and obnoxious; he talks instead of doing his work and is overall annoying. His and my personalities are in no way similar. Because of that, I could not see any way for us to get along. I realize now, that personalities are not a valid reason to not get along. I have done it all my life with my siblings, who I have spent countless hours with. I only spend five hours a week with this person. Surely, I can find a way to overlook our opposite personalities. That’s my goal this week. Not to see the differences in our personalities as a reason not to like him, but rather, as something that enriches our class, and my life. After all, having different personalities around me has made my life more beautiful.

Helpers

Lately I have been inspired by young children. I have witnessed this beautiful moment frequently; (however I did not get a picture of it because I think I might weird out the children that created the moment). There is a young family that lives across the street from me. On my way home from school, I pass the children as they walk home from the bus stop. When I drive by in my car the older brother always pulls his sister away from the street and on the other side of him so that she won’t get hit by the upcoming traffic. The little girl then hits his hands away and keeps walking like she has everything in control. I find it beautiful when the older brother tries and protects her sister by pulling her away from the traffic.

Every time I see this I want to tell the little girl to not push her brother away. He is trying to keep her safe. She should be thanking her brother for looking out for her. At one point, I was laughing to myself about how naive the girl was. She didn’t understand that her brother was trying to help her, not hurt her, As I chuckled, I started to think about all the times I had pushed away someone that was trying to help me. I began to have flashbacks of my childhood and how my older siblings used to pull me away from the street. I used to get so mad at them for not letting me do what I wanted. Now, I wish I could go back to that time. I still have older siblings but as our lives change so do our relationships. They are no longer there walking beside me keeping me out of the traffic; instead they are in different cities. I miss the times when I knew that they were right beside me; and wish that I could go back and thank them for watching out for me all these years. I wish I would have appreciated their help while it was there instead of looking back and being grateful. I guess, in the long run, I am still like the little girl. I always think that I know what’s best and I have everything in control; without help from anyone else. I am beginning to understand that this is not usually the case.

As I get older, I am faced with more and more choices. Though I would like to say I can make these decisions by myself, I can’t. I rely heavily on those around me, especially the adults, to guide me and help me stay clear of the traffic of life. I am not saying that you should always do what others tell you to do. I am just saying that, instead of pushing help away, embrace it and be thankful that there are those who love you enough to want and try to help you. I am going to try and notice those that are helping me; see the beauty in the moment; and be appreciative.

You can see what I see

As I have been writing this blog I have been trying to see the beauty that the world holds. I realized this week that, in the process of looking, I have completely missed an obvious beauty . . . my eyes. The fact that I can even see at all, is beautiful. I couldn’t do half of what I do without my sight. Even typing this blog would be much harder if I could not see the keys on the keyboard, or the words as they appear on the screen. To prove this I tried to type that last sentence with me eyes closed this is what I came up with:
Even tuping this nlog would ne mucj jarder if I cou;dn’t see the krys on the keyvouard or the wuds as tjeu aoowea on the screem.
Granted, I could only do that well because I have seen a keyboard many times before.

I am constantly astonished in the way that sight works. Everything we see is perceived in our eyes as an upside down the image. The image then gets flipped right side up when it reaches our brain. To me, that is amazing. Plus, having two eyes that do this instead of just one gives us depth perception and helps us to see dimensions. I guess, when it comes to eyes, two is better than one. The way that everyone’s eyes, for the most part, work is the same, though the appearance of everyone’s eyes are not the same My eyes, for instance, are blue while others have brown, green, or a mixture of colors. I researched why this is, and found that the color of your eye depends on where the amount of a substance called melanin is in your eyeball. The more melanin you have, the darker your eyes are. I was surprised that the same substance can create a so many different colors. Appearance is not the only difference in people’s eyes. Their ability to see is also different.

I have needed glasses since the beginning of first grade, and I have hated having glasses since about half way through first grade. I just never liked the fact that I would wake up in the morning and the world was a complete blur until I put my glasses on. I realize now how ungrateful I was being. I should be thankful that I came in a time and place where I can have glasses and be able to see clearly at all. I often forget how fortunate I am. I couldn’t imagine not being able to have glasses or contacts; having to live life in a world of blur.

Yet, some don’t even get to see a blur at all. Some see absolutely nothing at all. I couldn’t even begin to conceive not seeing stars or the faces of my family and friends; living in a world of complete darkness. After thinking about that, glasses seem like a wonderful gift! I realized how often I take things for granted, like my sight, and instead complain because it’s not perfect. This week I want to try and be more grateful for what I have, perfect or not, and remember how fortunate I am that I can see the beauty that the world has to offer.