Personalities

I was looking through old photos this weekend searching for pictures to put in the senior slide show. Most the pictures I found were of me and my two siblings. I laughed at how much these old photos represent our personalities now. In most of the pictures my older sister, Alix, is camera ready, with a big smile on her face. Jacob, my older brother, on the other hand, is usually making some goofy face that makes me laugh even now. Then, there is me, I am usually staring straight into the camera; sometimes smiling and sometimes just looking. I find these photos to be very representative of my siblings and me. Alix is usually the put together one, or at least the one with the plan. Jacob is the fun spirited one, ready to make everyone laugh. Me, I am the one that tries to logic everything out.

As I have grown up, I recognize that my siblings are on opposite spectrums of the personality wheel. Alix takes time to look presentable; Jacob will wear the same shirt (complete with ten holes) until someone throws it out. When in a crowd of company, Alix will sit and talk to the adults; Jacob will be running around with the children. Alix is one I go to talk about deep things; but Jacob is the one I go to when I need someone to lift my spirit and make me laugh. I am generally in the middle of the spectrum I try to look decent (but with as little effort as possible). I will talk with the adults and play with the children.

I was thinking about it, and I doubt, if I meet two people with my siblings’ personalities, I would be their friend or even acquaintance. Yet, I would not change my siblings, and our personalities seem to just work. I mean, we have had our rough patches, but overall we get along amazingly well. I guess differences in personalities are easy to get over when you love someone. I can’t ever remember wishing that Jacob and Alix had different personalities; because that would mean having different siblings. That is something I will never wish for. I love Alix and Jacob and I always will, no matter how much our personalities may clash.

As I was thinking about how my siblings and I get along even though sometimes we are nothing alike, I realized how foolish I am with other people around me. There is this kid in one of my classes (he is not in AP English) that just irks me. He is very loud and obnoxious; he talks instead of doing his work and is overall annoying. His and my personalities are in no way similar. Because of that, I could not see any way for us to get along. I realize now, that personalities are not a valid reason to not get along. I have done it all my life with my siblings, who I have spent countless hours with. I only spend five hours a week with this person. Surely, I can find a way to overlook our opposite personalities. That’s my goal this week. Not to see the differences in our personalities as a reason not to like him, but rather, as something that enriches our class, and my life. After all, having different personalities around me has made my life more beautiful.

Helpers

Lately I have been inspired by young children. I have witnessed this beautiful moment frequently; (however I did not get a picture of it because I think I might weird out the children that created the moment). There is a young family that lives across the street from me. On my way home from school, I pass the children as they walk home from the bus stop. When I drive by in my car the older brother always pulls his sister away from the street and on the other side of him so that she won’t get hit by the upcoming traffic. The little girl then hits his hands away and keeps walking like she has everything in control. I find it beautiful when the older brother tries and protects her sister by pulling her away from the traffic.

Every time I see this I want to tell the little girl to not push her brother away. He is trying to keep her safe. She should be thanking her brother for looking out for her. At one point, I was laughing to myself about how naive the girl was. She didn’t understand that her brother was trying to help her, not hurt her, As I chuckled, I started to think about all the times I had pushed away someone that was trying to help me. I began to have flashbacks of my childhood and how my older siblings used to pull me away from the street. I used to get so mad at them for not letting me do what I wanted. Now, I wish I could go back to that time. I still have older siblings but as our lives change so do our relationships. They are no longer there walking beside me keeping me out of the traffic; instead they are in different cities. I miss the times when I knew that they were right beside me; and wish that I could go back and thank them for watching out for me all these years. I wish I would have appreciated their help while it was there instead of looking back and being grateful. I guess, in the long run, I am still like the little girl. I always think that I know what’s best and I have everything in control; without help from anyone else. I am beginning to understand that this is not usually the case.

As I get older, I am faced with more and more choices. Though I would like to say I can make these decisions by myself, I can’t. I rely heavily on those around me, especially the adults, to guide me and help me stay clear of the traffic of life. I am not saying that you should always do what others tell you to do. I am just saying that, instead of pushing help away, embrace it and be thankful that there are those who love you enough to want and try to help you. I am going to try and notice those that are helping me; see the beauty in the moment; and be appreciative.

You can see what I see

As I have been writing this blog I have been trying to see the beauty that the world holds. I realized this week that, in the process of looking, I have completely missed an obvious beauty . . . my eyes. The fact that I can even see at all, is beautiful. I couldn’t do half of what I do without my sight. Even typing this blog would be much harder if I could not see the keys on the keyboard, or the words as they appear on the screen. To prove this I tried to type that last sentence with me eyes closed this is what I came up with:
Even tuping this nlog would ne mucj jarder if I cou;dn’t see the krys on the keyvouard or the wuds as tjeu aoowea on the screem.
Granted, I could only do that well because I have seen a keyboard many times before.

I am constantly astonished in the way that sight works. Everything we see is perceived in our eyes as an upside down the image. The image then gets flipped right side up when it reaches our brain. To me, that is amazing. Plus, having two eyes that do this instead of just one gives us depth perception and helps us to see dimensions. I guess, when it comes to eyes, two is better than one. The way that everyone’s eyes, for the most part, work is the same, though the appearance of everyone’s eyes are not the same My eyes, for instance, are blue while others have brown, green, or a mixture of colors. I researched why this is, and found that the color of your eye depends on where the amount of a substance called melanin is in your eyeball. The more melanin you have, the darker your eyes are. I was surprised that the same substance can create a so many different colors. Appearance is not the only difference in people’s eyes. Their ability to see is also different.

I have needed glasses since the beginning of first grade, and I have hated having glasses since about half way through first grade. I just never liked the fact that I would wake up in the morning and the world was a complete blur until I put my glasses on. I realize now how ungrateful I was being. I should be thankful that I came in a time and place where I can have glasses and be able to see clearly at all. I often forget how fortunate I am. I couldn’t imagine not being able to have glasses or contacts; having to live life in a world of blur.

Yet, some don’t even get to see a blur at all. Some see absolutely nothing at all. I couldn’t even begin to conceive not seeing stars or the faces of my family and friends; living in a world of complete darkness. After thinking about that, glasses seem like a wonderful gift! I realized how often I take things for granted, like my sight, and instead complain because it’s not perfect. This week I want to try and be more grateful for what I have, perfect or not, and remember how fortunate I am that I can see the beauty that the world has to offer.

Cemeteries

Have you ever taken a look at a cemetery? I am not trying to be morbid and say that death is beautiful, I do however, find cemeteries beautiful. I went to the local cemetery recently, and it struck me, how many flowers and head stones there were. Granted, it was sad that so many lives are lost, but I was interested in what the headstones and flowers themselves meant. I was pondering on why people use headstones and flowers. I doubt that the people who are deceased care if someone were to label their grave or adorn them with flowers; so why do it? I came to the realization that it is for outsiders to see that the person that is dead, was loved. For me, when I see flowers I think “oh how precious, someone must have really loved them”. I think that’s the point, the family members of the deceased want the world to know that the person gone was loved and will be missed. I find it beautiful that people care enough about a person’s memory to want others to know that those people are loved, even after their death. In my mind, cemeteries are a place of love. That’s all they could be. Why would someone bury another person and mark their grave unless they truly loved them and wanted to remember the life they had. It makes me happy to know that so many people feel the need to honor those before them. I am going to try and think of cemeteries in this new light instead of seeing the m as the place for horror scenes. I posit that if I fear cemeteries, then I am fearing the memory of someone’s life. I want to respect those that have come before me and respect the place that they were laid to rest. To not fear cemeteries is my new goal, and I encourage others to join in the respect of another’s resting place. The thought of beauty in a cemetery came to me this week after finding out that my great uncle had passed away. When I first heard the news I immediately thought of my grandmother who dearly loved her brother. I called her the next day to see if she was okay and her words are what showed me beauty. She said she was “fine”. She also said she knew where he was, and that he was much happier there.” As my grandma said this, I could hear the sadness in her voice, but I was also amazed that she was still thinking of her brother first and what he wanted which in her eyes, and in mine, is to be with God in Heaven. I still feel for my family my great uncle will be horribly missed by many. He was a truly special person and was dearly loved. I know that, if I ever go to where he is buried, there will be an abundance of flowers to grace his memory.